Sunday, December 27, 2009

Where'd it Go?

Here it is December 27th already.  My little boy was in such a hurry last week for Christmas to finally get here--and I kept trying to tell him to enjoy the season because the day would arrive and be over before we knew it.  My favorite time of the season is the days leading up to Christmas and especially Christmas Eve.  For the last two years we have gone out to dinner on Christmas Eve--saving the big home cooked meal for the Special Day.  This year, though, it just would not have happened if not for the generosity of the parents of the other boys on my son's soccer team who gave my husband a gift card for a very nice restaurant in town as a thank you for being the coach.  We had a very nice evening and a really delicious meal.  Afterwards, we drove around looking at the beautiful Christmas lights and decorations and later had a small group of family over for dessert (cookies, fudge and pumpkin cheesecake) and Ginger Ale Sherbet Punch (Yummy!) and Pictionary.  It was a lot of fun.

Christmas morning arrived bright and early thanks to a certain nine-year-old boy I know.  And after opening presents and eating a quick breakfast, we packed up and jumped in the car to drive down to my husbands  family to have an early Christmas dinner. 

They are all very good and loving people but it is never quite comfortable for me.  We end up going to my husband's aunts house and there are always lots of people there that I don't know very well.  And this year there is some friction between the three brothers--my husband, his older brother, and his younger brother.  The older brother pretty much abandoned his family five years ago and dove into a pool of alcoholism and drug abuse.  He has almost bankrupted their mother because she has tried to bail him out and take care of his three daughters at the same time.  She made house payments so they wouldn't lose their home, car payments so the cars would not be repossessed.  She lost her job because her health took a downturn because of all the stress he put her through.  The younger brother tried to give him a job in his company--one that he could never show up for and loaned him money that he will never see again.  We never had any money to loan him so he didn't even try us, LOL.  And, he doesn't even see the devastation he has caused.  So my husband and his younger brother can barely even look at their older brother--much less talk to him.  But, they did try to be civil and even friendly at Christmas. 

The older brother's girlfriend (the one he spoke up about at family blessing time and said basically that she was the only one who has not turned her back on him through all this) kept following me around and wanting to talk to me about things.  I don't even really know her and although I tried to be friendly and caring--I know she probably feels very overwhelmed--it was kind of uncomfortable and draining.  Not very festive.  Then, later, after we had already returned home I find out from my youngest son that my husbands uncle kind of yelled at my son just for asking him where he should put his dirty plate.  I don't have any idea what was going on there.

At the end of the day I was thrilled to go back to my younger brother-in-laws home and finish the day playing board games and watching movies. 

I missed my family in Oakhurst very much and wished I could have been there.  My husband had spent Thanksgiving there with me, though, so I felt like I had to return the favor.  Next year is going to be different.

I hope all of you had a very nice Christmas--and that you are still enjoying the season a little bit--and that you are where you want to be. 


  1. Your post is all too familar I am afraid with lots of us sometime in our own lives.
    Hate you had to spend it under those circumstances hopefully next year will be better.
    My Christmas was sad this year too because of my sons being mad at my daughter. I had hoped that by the holidays they would have all made up but not to be. I think my DL keeps it going.
    I hope next year is better for both of us

  2. So sorry your Christmas was not as joyous as it might have been. I hope the coming year brings you peace and love and happiness!

  3. Ahhh...gotta love those family dynamics. LOL

    I felt a little removed from my extended family this year. I'm just so different from the rest of them...always have been. Now that I've found my spiritual path, I feel even more removed from my fundamentalist Christian family.

    It's awkward.

    Hope you all have a blessed 2010!


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