She can be the most exasperating creature. Sassy. Stubborn. Filled with angst one minute and loving and caring the next. Some days we can have really good conversations. And others, it seems like she takes every word I say and turns it into something bad and not anywhere near what I meant to say in the first place. Those can be really difficult days.
I love her so much but she has never been an easy child. There was several occasions when I fervently believed that she just might prove to be the death of me. There was the quite terrifying year of anorexia and therapists, the guy she began secretly communicating with online when she was 16 and he was 25 who thankfully "saw the light" when my husband informed him of her real age--and that if he didn't vacate her life asap he probably wouldn't live very long, there were the bottles of vodka I found under her bed, there was the running away after she got busted for attending a big kegger party instead of spending the night at a friends house like she told us she was going to. I could go on but I think you get the picture. Ya, under this dark brown hair coloring I am pretty sure I am at least 75% gray.
She is 18 years old and will be 19 in March. There were many days that I didn't think she would survive this long--either from some of the dumbshit things she did on her own or because she finally drove me to kill her (kidding...I think).
But, then there are some days--especially lately, that I catch glimpses of the woman she is on her way to becoming. Yesterday was one of those days. She knew that money had been pretty tight around here for awhile and she walked in and told me that she wanted to have a "date-day" with me. She wanted to take me to the movies--her treat. We went to see Avatar because she had not seen it and I pretty much adore it. We had a great time. It was wonderful.
On days like this, I just sit and stare at her for a few seconds, enraptured. Then, of course, she will turn to me...roll her eyes and say something like, "take a picture why don't you."