She can be the most exasperating creature. Sassy. Stubborn. Filled with angst one minute and loving and caring the next. Some days we can have really good conversations. And others, it seems like she takes every word I say and turns it into something bad and not anywhere near what I meant to say in the first place. Those can be really difficult days.
I love her so much but she has never been an easy child. There was several occasions when I fervently believed that she just might prove to be the death of me. There was the quite terrifying year of anorexia and therapists, the guy she began secretly communicating with online when she was 16 and he was 25 who thankfully "saw the light" when my husband informed him of her real age--and that if he didn't vacate her life asap he probably wouldn't live very long, there were the bottles of vodka I found under her bed, there was the running away after she got busted for attending a big kegger party instead of spending the night at a friends house like she told us she was going to. I could go on but I think you get the picture. Ya, under this dark brown hair coloring I am pretty sure I am at least 75% gray.
She is 18 years old and will be 19 in March. There were many days that I didn't think she would survive this long--either from some of the dumbshit things she did on her own or because she finally drove me to kill her (kidding...I think).
But, then there are some days--especially lately, that I catch glimpses of the woman she is on her way to becoming. Yesterday was one of those days. She knew that money had been pretty tight around here for awhile and she walked in and told me that she wanted to have a "date-day" with me. She wanted to take me to the movies--her treat. We went to see Avatar because she had not seen it and I pretty much adore it. We had a great time. It was wonderful.
On days like this, I just sit and stare at her for a few seconds, enraptured. Then, of course, she will turn to me...roll her eyes and say something like, "take a picture why don't you."
I can so identify with you in regards to your explanation of you and your daughter... so nice to hear another mother say such things..... and like you I love my daughter to pieces still
ReplyDeleteMother-daughter relationships are almost always fraught with complications... mine enjoyed fighting...she would actually feel refreshed after an altercation...luckily I realized it early and would accommodate her when necessary...when her husband took over, he really did not know what he was getting into, but they are now doing okay...thankfully...I'm sure your daughter will mature nicely; after all, she is your daughter...
ReplyDeleteI was in a dillema but now i see things clearly.. i do not want kids! I am kidding..sort of! bb
ReplyDeleteHa! Sorry....I don't mean to laugh. I chose not to have children. For some of these reasons and a lot more besides. That said, The Pirate has 5 girls. uh huh...ranging in age from 18 to 11. All of them precocious and sassy. I have a mantra I repeat in my head, "He's the parent. I am a good friend and hostess." I nearly bit my tongue clean through the other day when all five of them were bickering & complaining all day long. I finally had to leave. It got to be too much for me.
ReplyDeleteEach of us is having the experience we're meant to be having on this earth. I hope yours and your daughters contain a lot more date days together.
Blessings,
Carolynn
This was wonderfully precious. =) I'm glad you're both still alive! (For now. ;-) )
ReplyDeleteYou are a lucky woman!
I hope your daughter appreciates this
ReplyDeletelovely post!
I have to admit after reading your post I smiled your daughter was me 30 years ago. I was every parents nightmare I hated authority and convention and thought i knew better than everyone. I cringe now at the teenager I was and could weep when i think what i put my mum through.
ReplyDeleteI was also anorexic and bullimic and blame myself now for my mums heart troubles, but on a brighter note I turned out ok (sort of)
At the age of 48 I look back at this unrecogniseable person in amazement, can't even remember now why i was so angry and rebellious, I guess it was just a stage in my life.
My mom laughs now when she sees me kneeling down in my garden gathering herbs and flowers and cooking surrounded by my cats she can't believe the gentle spirit i became I'm sure it will be the same with your daughter. I had a good role model in my mum and I'm sure your daughter will view you the same.
I never had children i think I put myself off glad you had a good bonding day with your daughter.
Electricwitch.
I can't help but giggle at this post...it's just such a typical mother/daughter relationship.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't until I had kids that my mom and I finally seemed to get along. Before that, we about took each other's heads off during our raging arguments.
Even now though, if we're together longer than a day, she gets on my nerves and I'm sure I get on hers as well. LOL
Glad things seem to be 'easing up' a little. :)
As a daughter who did her share of "dumbshit" things, I can tell you that she will love you all the more for keeping your sanity. I don't know how my mom did it, but she is one of my best friends now.
ReplyDeleteI adore her, and how she dealt with me through those terrible years just makes me love her all the more. I'm sure your daughter feels the same way about you!